


You're Making Me Live Now

by NoMan_PoorMan



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone Is Gay, Gay, Gay For You, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2019-10-05 14:02:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17326373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMan_PoorMan/pseuds/NoMan_PoorMan
Summary: After being rejected by John, Freddie tries to forget about him by turning his attention to his best friend, Brian. He is, however, oblivious to the fact that said friend wants to be in a committed relationship, bringing new problems into his life.Modern Setting AU with the boys (from the early 70s era).(The relationships between Queen have been altered, so I'm terribly sorry if this story confuses you-)





	1. Happy Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello 3: This is the first work I'll be posting , which for some reason I am, considering it's not good at all- Updates will be every now and then, there will be no certain times, only when I can get around it as I am busy with work and school :/ Also, excuse me for my terrible grammar, English is not my first language :/. 
> 
> Anyway! This chapter will be rated M due to a minor sexual scene! If you wish not to read it, skip the italic text after 'he manages to fall asleep in broad daylight, sprawled out lazily on the bed.'

Freddie swiped down, refreshing the app continuously to see if his friend had replied to anything he sent and grew distressed when his messages were left unread since this morning.

 

_Must be busy._ He thought, locking his phone and tossing it on the nightstand to his left. An exhausted sigh ran from his mouth.

 

His life was crumbling to pieces because of himself. Freddie was miserably failing his classes, having problems with both his family and himself, and he was hopelessly falling in love. Or so he thought. Was it really love? Or was he twisting unspoken feelings into something they weren't for his own satisfaction?

 

Another sigh escapes from him, but it's different. It's not of weariness or exhaustion. No, it's from being in _love._ It's an endearing, quick exhale and Freddie finds himself doing it too often. He feels silly but can't help it, it's nearly a habit of his now. He's brought back to his high school years, to moments when he would gawk at football players in their tight spandex. He felt like a schoolgirl crushing on the school jocks.

 

Though, the friend he was crushing on was rather… _different_.

 

Deaky was unlike any other he’s met so far. He hadn't come to Deaky, but rather Deaky to Freddie. He had posted a story in which Fred dramatically spilled out his emotions at 2 in the morning over something that he was overreacting to. Hours passed before a very kind boy replied in sweet words that made Fred instantly hook onto the younger man. He couldn't help but be drawn towards this mysterious boy, and continuing the conversation only drew him closer. At first, Deaky wasn't very open to him, and he barely ever responded to what Freddie sent him. But over time, Deaky became very open on everything. Fred learned that he was a songwriter like himself, and loved to play the bass guitar. Although Freddie thought he wasn't good with bass, he did know a few things about the piano. Upon sharing that information to each other, they almost immediately became best friends.

 

There has never been a day where they've stopped texting each other. Their conversations were wholesome and only made them drawn to each other more and more by the end of the day. Deaky was a very interesting guy. He loved to post his songs on his Instagram and always thought he was never good at doing so. But if he knew how many times they've made Freddie cry, then he'd see how much of a gift he truly had.

 

_We're made for each other._ Freddie thought, eyes fixed carefully on the beige ceiling. _But he doesn't know this yet._

 

Deaky was also a difficult and confusing person. Freddie had confessed his love to him numerous times in the past, which only resulted in either those feelings being brushed away or rejected. Though recently, his friend had been texting him rather intimate texts.

 

‘I love you’s had always laced Deaky's words, and Freddie wondered if his companion truly meant them in the same way he did.

 

_No. He's just being the nice guy he is._

 

_He doesn't like you that way._

 

_Nothing will ever happen between the two of you._

 

_You're delusional._

 

_Stop twisting his words for your own needs-_

 

A series of buzzes bring Freddie back to reality, and he reaches over to grab his phone. About 6 notifications from Deaky, the way it always is.

 

**_‘Freaky.Deaky liked a message you sent’_ **

 

**_‘Freaky.Deaky liked a message you sent’_ **

 

**_‘Freaky.Deaky liked a message you sent’_ **

 

_‘_ **_Freaky.Deaky_ ** _: Hey, sorry for not responding all day. I had to go help my mom with something. I love her dearly, but she can be a bit of a bother sometimes haha’_

 

_‘_ **_Freaky.Deaky_ ** _: Anyway, I hope your day went well, love; Mine did!! Thank you for asking! But it would've been better if I got to talk to you more though..’_

 

_‘_ **_Freaky.Deaky_ ** _: Are you sure?? I felt like I didn't even try on this one, and I feel like the words are too consistent on the second verse.. Plus, the riff I had for it seems to be a bit plain, don't you think?’_

 

Freddie smiles a big stupid smile and clutches the phone onto his chest. He rereads the messages and glides his fingers effortlessly across the keyboard.

 

_‘_ **_Ready.Freddie_ ** _: It's completely okay!! Please didn't apologize!! I understand you were busy and you needed to help your mother! Same goes for mine, but I still love her nonetheless!’_

 

_‘_ **_Ready Freddie_ ** _: It was a bit boring without you haha, but I'm really glad you had a good day! You deserve all the good days in the world, darling ❤️,,, I'd probably make your day go sour,,’_

 

_‘_ **_Ready.Freddie_ ** _: I'm completely sure! Your choice of words really spoke to me, especially the lines: I've been wandering 'round_  
_But I still come back to you_  
In rain or shine’

 

_‘_ **_Ready.Freddie_ ** _: It gives me a sense of someone who is lost or confused in a way and is returning to the love of their life, even if they are happy or in a bit of a pickle. I don't know, I'm not very good at these sort of things ahah,,’_

 

Freddie locks his phone once more and lets it fall on his chest. _God was he such a perfect human being._

 

_If only Deaky had that mindset as well._

 

Almost immediately his phone buzzes, and Freddie quickly opens it, only to find that it's from his friend Roger. He clenches his jaw in disappointment but opens up the chat anyway.

 

‘ **_Rogerina_ ** _: Did u tell her then?_

 

_‘_ **_Ready.Freddie_ ** _: Who??_

 

_'_ **_Rogerina_ ** _: That girl ur always talking about, Deaky?’_

 

_‘_ **_Ready.Freddie_ ** _: Rog, I know I should have told you sooner, but Deaky is a guy,,’_

 

His finger hovers over the send button for a moment, unsure if it would be the correct thing to say.

 

He's hesitant, but holds the backspace button instead.

 

_‘_ **_Ready.Freddy:_ ** _No, I'm kinda nervous haha :)’_

 

_Should he have told him?_

 

_…_

 

_What if Roger did not want to be his friend anymore..?_

 

He lays on his bed, mind plaguing with intrusive thoughts. He didn't want to lose his best friend. Not this way. Not ever.

 

His friends were the only people who were motivating him to do better and to keep on going. Especially Deaky. God, _especially_ him. He would hate to lose them.

 

Freddie shut his eyes to rest for a moment, ignoring the buzzing of his phone, knowing it was most likely Roger. He was probably bombarding him with insults and terrible words at this point. Roger could get a bit offensive at times, but Freddie got used to harsh words, knowing it was a form of him showing love and affection.

 

Before he knew it, his thoughts shift into dreams and he manages to fall asleep in broad daylight, sprawled out lazily on the bed.

 

_A hand ran smoothly over the other's clothed legs, and Freddie couldn't help but let out a shaky sigh. The hand worked up carefully up his chest and dipped back down, heading painfully slow towards his inner thighs. A hot breath tickled at his neck, sending severe shivers down Fred's spine._

 

_His breath suddenly hitched when a hand palmed at his groin, stimulating a new kind of excitement he's never felt before. Freddie bucked his hips into the pleasurable hand and let out a particularly loud moan that forced him to press a sweaty hand over his mouth._

 

_“I bet you love this, don't you Fred?”_

 

_Freddie could only nod in agreement, head tilting back as the mysterious man planted dozens of kisses around his neck._

 

_“I want you, Freddie. I need you.”_

 

_“I need you too, Joh-”_

 

**_Knock knock_ **

 

_His eyes open but quickly shut when a set of lips press harshly on his own. They part rather hastily but Freddie pulls the man back onto him in a desperate attempt to keep the moment going._

 

**_Knock Knock Knock_ **

 

 

 

Freddie gasps and sits up, gazing around his small studio in complete bewilderment.

 

_Where did the man go?_ He sits there for a moment to process what just happened, looking down at his painful hard-on.

 

_Must've been another dream._

 

_Pity._

 

He finds a cold pillow and covers himself in a hurry. “Yes?”

 

“It's Brian.” he heard a muffled voice say from the other side of the door.

 

The bed creaks as Freddie hops off, pillow on his hips, and holds the door open enough to poke his face out.

 

“Bri, it's the middle of the night.”

 

Brian extends his wrist and looks at his watch. “It's 7:40, Freddie. Are you alright?” The back of his hand goes to touch the younger man's forehead. “My God, you're really hot, Fred!”

 

Freddie gives him a smirk and the taller man rolls his eyes in annoyance. “You know what I mean.”

 

“Mm-hm. What do you want anyway? I was sleeping.”

 

His friend gives him a look of disbelief. “Fred! We've got a gig in 20!" At first, Freddie is looking confused before realization kicks in.

 

"How could you forget?!”

 

The color drains from his face and he shuts the door rather loud, throwing the pillow across the room and heading to his dresser at the speed of light.

 

_How could I forget!?_ His mind was screaming, but he was screaming louder.

 

“I've got nothing to wear, Brian! All of these outfits are so drab!” By now his living space is littered with colorful tops and skin tight leather pants, but that’s the least of his worries now. Right now he had to pick out a proper getup to make a lasting impression on the crowd.

 

“Just get whatever, Fred. It's going to be dark anyway.” His friend states, leaning on the doorframe and chuckling at the frantic mess Freddie was.

 

“This one!” He raises a fist that holds a white top on it, one that Brian has never seen in his life. “With this!” He lifts his other hand, holding matching white leather pants.

 

The distraught man then eyes Brian as he gets back on his feet, bangs stuck to his wet forehead. 

 

“Well don't be a bloody pervert, Bri! Get out! Go on, shoo!” He forces the older man out the door, leaving him locked out in the hallway once more.

 

The curly haired man only shakes his head and smiles, resting himself on the wall.


	2. Miscommunication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello hi yes. I'm very sorry for the wait. I've been overwhelmed on how to handle this story, but now that I have a basic plot, expect more this upcoming week :)

**_'Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ I'm going to be a bit busy tonight, so forgive me in advance if I can't talk to you before the night ends, love’ _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ Oh. You're cheating on me, aren't you? I knew it. I knew you loved that bloody piano more than me. What does she have that I don't!?’ _

 

Freddie laughs out loud in pure joy.

 

**_‘Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ Of course not, my love! She may have many keys, but only  _ you _ hold the true key to my soul!’  _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ Haha, that was a good one,,, Well, have fun, FreddY! ❤️’ _

 

**_‘Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ Thank you, DICKY! I'll be thinking of you xoxo ❤️’ _

  
  
  
  


The show went exactly the way both Freddie and Brian had expected.

 

Er, almost exactly.

 

Tonight's bass player was too distracted with pretty girls and completely forgot his notes halfway through the songs, while the drummer on the other hand was rather hot-headed, drumming a little too loud during Freddie's lines.

 

The only good thing that happened that night was officially kicking them out of the band. Luckily, these two did not get as physical as previous members have, though Brian  _ was _ thrown a set of drumsticks to the head. Fortunately for him, his bouncy locks worked as a safety helmet and his hair ricocheted them directly to the floor.

 

Freddie, in a fit of rage, stomped on them with his platform boots and broke the cheap wood into bits in a matter of seconds.

 

“Remember this, darling.” He kicked the splintered sticks back to the duo in complete bitterness and placed an arm around his friend.

 

“Come on, Brian. Don't waste your time with these bloody plonkers.” And with that, they grabbed their belongings and scurried out of the back room to avoid further confrontations.

  
  


This was about an hour ago.

 

The duo found themselves sitting at a club now, watching as a group of girls exchanged looks with the two men. They enjoyed talking and flirting with the girls. Well, at least Brian did. 

 

Freddie preferred to be at a different kind of club. One that involved being a little bit more…  _ active. _

 

The younger man gazed at his much more good-looking friend, taking in everything he had to offer. The way he cast hazel eyes around the room, hair many women couldn't resist getting their hands on, or that absorbed and most attentive face he pulls when he's playing Red Special. 

 

Brian was handsome in every way, awfully tempting to women and men. Even  _ Freddie _ fancied him once. Though, he shortly gave up when Brian wouldn't take the hint. 

 

He knew Brian would be completely understanding with Freddie's sexuality, but it bothered him for some reason. As if consequences were to follow after the confession.

 

His hand went to tap his friend on the shoulder, bu he retreated

and swallowed his fourth drink in one go, the gin scratching harshly at his throat. 

 

“You alright, Fred?” 

 

Freddie looks up to meet Brian's gaze, whose head is tilted to the side like some cute poodle.

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

“Well,” he gets closer, “you look like you have something on your mind. You have anything to tell me?” 

 

_ Shit.  _ Freddie was a little too easy to read sometimes.  _ Must be because of all the empty glasses..  _ Freddie didn't like drinking, though it did help relieve stress a bit and let his worries wash away.

 

But he shakes his head, silky hair swaying to and fro. “I'm fine, Brian, really. I'm just… rather  _ lonely _ .” Both truth and lie braided Freddie's quiet words. 

 

Brian only smiles and goes to place a calloused hand on Freddie's knee, strange thoughts bouncing around inside the shorter man's head. He shivers in delight when his thumb begins brushing light circles. 

 

“Don’t say that. You have me, Freddie. I'll always be at your side no matter what, okay?”

 

His words are more than reassuring. “I know, I know. But I mean… I want someone. I crave an intimate relationship.” he slurs out, gesturing to himself and letting his arms dangle uselessly as Brian finally understands the situation. “Oh.” He starts.

 

“Well in that case, I really hope you find somebody to love. There's someone out there for you, you just have to look hard-”

 

“Brian, I have something else to tell you..”

 

Fred's tongue is thick and heavy and now he suddenly can't talk anymore. He focuses his eyes on the empty glass he's holding, wishing he hadn't opened his mouth in the first place.

 

Brian doesn't say anything, and the music is suddenly growing quiet.

 

Moments pass before Freddie is able to open his mouth again. “I think… I think I'm,”

 

Freddie runs a shaky hand through his precious locks and averts his eyes to the drinks set perfectly on shelves across the wall. It seems like the most interesting thing in the world at the moment. 

 

The hand that still rested on his knee gives a squeeze and Freddie looks at Brian once more, something stirring in the depths of his stomach.

 

“You can tell me anything, Fred.” 

 

His eyes are soft and his words are genuine. 

 

But Freddie likes to make things complicated and pushes the soothing hand off of himself. 

 

“I think I'm going to hurl.” 

 

Before Brian can say anything, Freddie zooms off to the restrooms, muttering ‘ _ sorry’  _ and ‘ _ excuse me _ ' as he pushes his way through dancing people.  _ Why the hell did we get a table across the room? _

 

When Freddie opens the door, there's nobody in the dingy bathrooms. He goes straight to the sinks and splashes cold water over his face, watching himself in the musty mirror as a black stream of eyeliner slowly makes its way down his face. 

 

He gazes and takes in his facial features, mentally pointing out every little flaw he could think of. 

 

_ Your face is too square. _

_ Your teeth are too big. _

_ You look like a bloody woman.  _

 

He stares at himself for what seems like hours (which were really just a couple of minutes) and takes a step back, this time carefully narrowing his eyes over his body. 

 

Freddie rotates from one side to the other, raising his arms and flexing his frame, not caring if someone were to walk in on him. 

 

His figure was slim and toned, having meat in the right places, which was rather appealing to him.

 

His arms drop back down and he gives himself one last look before turning on his heels and yanking the door open. 

 

But before he's able to leave, his pants start to buzz. Freddie grows confused and looks down, frowning when the vibrations shake his thighs.  _ What is that? _

 

It takes him a few moments before he finally understands what's happening and fishes out his phone from his pocket. 

 

It's Deaky. 

 

_ Calling _ him?

 

Freddie knows they only call when it's an emergency, and he quickly smashes his finger on the green button. 

 

“Hey, what's the matter, John?”

 

“Hi, Freddie. It's not an emergency, I'm sorry if I worried you.” Freddie sighs in relief. _ Oh thank God.  _

 

“I just wanted to talk, I'm sort of alone.” 

 

“Alone on a Friday night? How pathetic, darling.” A laugh erupts from the phone. 

 

“Oi, shut up, you. Anyway, what's with the loud music? Dancing home alone again?” Another adorable laugh. “Is that what you meant when you said you'd be busy tonight?” 

 

“That's not it, darling. I had a gig.” 

 

“Oh that's great to hear! I'm sure it went well?” 

 

Freddie bites his lip. “You could say that.” 

 

“What happened?”

 

“Well, the drummer was a little too cocky on the drums and our bass player kept forgetting his bloody notes. Can you believe it?” Freddie scoffs at the recent memory. “We must've looked so ridiculous up there.” 

 

“I'm sure you and Brian did fine. Maybe I should join your band and show them how to properly play the bass.” John laughs, but the other doesn't. 

 

_ If only. _

 

“I'd love to have you here. I really do want you… Here, that is.” Freddie eyes himself in the mirror and notices the darkening blush creeping on his cheeks. 

 

“Freddie, I'd love to, but I just don't have the money to support myself at the moment. I'm dealing with quite a bit actually-”

 

“I’ll support you, Deaky. You can come live with me if you'd like. You can join the band, and you can sleep in my bed.”  _ What was he saying _ ?

 

“It's not as simple as it sounds, Fred. I'd have to pack up and make lots of plans, I'm just not ready for that.” 

 

He grates his teeth.

 

“I'll always look after you.” 

 

“I know you would, Fred, dear, but .. I don't know. I'm not ready yet.” 

 

“We can live together.” Freddie chuckles. “We'd make a perfect pair, you know. We're practically made for each other.”

 

_ Yet you never seem to realize. _

 

“Hey I've got to go, Fred. I think someone's trying to call, I'll talk to you later.” 

 

“Before you leave, I have something to tell you, John.”

 

“Yes?”

 

Freddie taps his boot as a way to express his anxiousness.

 

“I've been thinking about this a lot. I just never knew how to bring it up.” 

 

Silence from the other line.

 

There's a heavy lump in his throat and he has to clear his throat a few times to be able to speak properly.

 

“I think I'm gay..”

 

“I already know that, Fre-” 

 

“For you, John.” 

 

There's an unsettling silence from his phone and he's convinced that Deaky had hung up on him until he hears a quiet, almost inaudible cough.

 

“Fred. I... I don't know what to say.” 

 

Said man starts picking at the paint from his nails. He watches as the black flake flutters silently to the tiled floor.

 

“Why would you even want to be with someone like me?” 

 

“Why would you say something like that, Deaky?”

 

“It's just...” he hears John sigh in exhaustion. “I'm just a bloody tosser, Fred. I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I haven't had these kind of feelings for anyone since grade school.”

 

Freddie's picking harder at his nail and he scratches at it too hard, making him wince.

 

“But if I did, I'd want to have feelings for you. You're my best friend, the best I've ever had. And I don't want to ruin that.”

 

There's a brief moment of silence before Freddie clears his throat to rid of the lump beginning to invade his throat. He blinks a few times and casts his eyes away from the mirror.

 

“I’m sorry, Fred. I love you, I really do.”

 

“Yes, of course. I've... I've got to go, John.” Tears fall from his face and onto the phone's screen, which he's frantically pressing to end the call. 

 

The call cuts off before John could say anything else and he stands there for a moment, staring at his phone in complete and utter disbelief. 

 

Why was he even mad at John? Freddie should be blaming himself. After all, he's the one that fantasized about John being in love with him. 

 

But his mind makes him blame John for all of this. Why would he send intimate texts to Freddie, knowing far well how in love he was with him?

 

Unless his friend was.. toying with him? 

 

Was this all just a game to John? Or was Freddie just finding someone else to blame for his stupidity? He doesn't know what to think anymore. A buzz from the strong alcohol he consumed starts to kick in and Freddie splashes one more handful of icy water into his face, getting rid of his tear stained cheeks. He grabs paper towels to dry himself off and quickly runs out to meet up with Brian again. 

 

The guitarist is still sitting at their table, eyes focused on a particular woman on the dance floor that has Freddie's blood boiling in jealousy. 

 

“Sorry for the wait, darling!” Freddie says in a cheery tone, making the taller one turn his head away from the woman. 

 

“Oh, there you are. Thought you bailed on me, Fred.” 

 

“How ridiculous! I would never do that. Especially to you, dear.” Brian gives him a genuine smile as he rises from his seat. “Shall we go then? I've got work tomorrow and I don't want to turn up with a hangover.” Brian laughs a hearty laugh when Freddie nods in agreement. 

 

“Of course, Bri.” He finishes his last shot and leads his friend through the crowded dance floor, finding it much easier than going around the entire room.

 

They find a cab as soon as they step out of the club and drive back to Freddie's studio. He's used to having Brian over some nights, but now it's become a routine and Freddie even jokes about the two living together, to which Brian jokingly agrees. 

 

Freddie looks like a complete mess when he properly examines his face in his  _ clean _ mirror. Not only was his makeup and hair ruined, but a bit of eyeliner had tainted the collar of his favorite white batwing top. He frowned and pulled it over his head and attempted to rub it off with a bit of toilet paper and water, but only made it worse. He sighed in defeat and tossed it aside while making his way back to the bed, where Brian was lying comfortably reading a book, shirtless.

 

He was so tired that he plopped besides Brian, ignoring the uncomfortableness pressing against his crotch due to the leather pants. 

 

_ Ugh _

 

Then he sat up and unzipped them, throwing them aside like he did with his top earlier. Freddie sighed in ecstasy when he slid under the cool sheets, throwing an arm around Brian's midriff. His friend, however, remained unfazed and Freddie whined.

 

“C'mon, turn the bloody light off already and sleep!” He moves so his head is resting on the curly haired man's shoulder, peaking at whatever had Brian in a trance.

 

The book slams shut on his face.

 

“Alright, alright! Just to stop your whining, you big baby.” Brian teases, placing the book on the little nightstand and pulling at the beaded string of the lamp. With a pull, the light that once illuminated the small room dies out and they're immediately surrounded by darkness. Freddie pulls his friend closer to himself and hums in delight.

 

Brian is warm and he can't help but move closer, face snuggling right into the crook of his neck. He smelled delightfully of roses.

 

This was his favorite part of having Brian over. He served as a perfect cuddling partner and his body radiated such warmth that made Freddie melt right into the slender arms. His head swims with happy thoughts and he can't help but chuckle, bringing Brian's attention. 

 

“What is it?” he says, throat vibrating his voice on Freddie's forehead. “Oh nothing, just.. happy, you know? Living the life.” 

 

Brian pulls Freddie away from himself to be face to face. He can't help but scan over his friend, taking in every little detail he had to offer. How his eyebrows gave his eyes that fierce and intense look that Freddie rocked, how perfectly shaped his face was as if it were sculpted by the Gods themselves, and how those luscious pink lips were always parted due to his protruding top teeth.

 

Imperfectly perfect. His eyes lingered at the other man's lips and he can't help but caress Freddie's chin.

 

That's when Brian suddenly leans in to press his lips against Freddie's. 

 

Freddie, however, is in shock and pulls away after a few seconds of returning that sweet kiss. He can't look at Brian. His eyes go to look at his collarbone instead.

 

“Don't you like me?” Freddie darts his eyes back up, confused. 

 

“What are you going on about?”

 

“Don't fool around, Fred. I saw that story you posted a while ago.” 

 

This made the younger man even more confused.

 

“You were talking about some guy you liked.” Brian insists. Suddenly Fred's face goes beat red, forgetting that Brian even had any sort of social media. He remembers now. He had posted on his story about John and Brian must have somehow interpreted it as himself. Especially at the bouncy hair part. Freddie cringes at his stupidity. 

 

Now Brian knew he is interested in men.

 

And worse yet, interested in  _ him _ .

 

“So you know already?” Freddie starts. “About me being.. being gay?” he looks away again, almost ashamed.

 

“It was a bit obvious actually..” Brian mutters.

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“I'm sorry but it's true!” Freddie playfully smacks him on the arm and grins. The once laughter filled room falls silent after a few seconds. They don't say anything, that is until Freddie does the inexplicable and cups Brian's face, pulling him into a deep kiss. It's not long before Brian draws away and catches his breath just to lean right back in. 

 

He straddles Brian's lap, not letting go of the man's lips underneath him and they continue to devour each other in desperation. 

 

Freddie needed this as much as Brian did. It had been so long since he had any sort of sexual interactions and he longed to fuck just about anybody. Even if it meant his good friend Brian. A quick shag, nothing else.

 

“I like you, Fred.” Brian manages to say between breathless kisses.

 

This makes Freddie stop dead on his tracks.

 

_ He was too far into this to back out now. _

 

He pushes back, looking down at Brian with careful eyes. Freddie clenches his jaw and manages to smile at him.

 

“I like you too, Brian.” he says, the lie naturally seeping out of his mouth. This makes the older man grin and place a quick peck on Fred's flushed lips, trailing small, loving kisses up and down his perfectly sculpted jawline. A shudder escapes Freddie's mouth as the pair of lips lower down to his neck and collarbone.

 

A particular spot to the side of his upper neck leaves him breathless. “Oh fuck!” 

 

Brian immediately stops his actions, much to Freddie's dismay.

 

“Did I hurt you?” His voice is frantic.

 

“Oh, quite the opposite actually.”

 

Brian flips them over so that he's on top now, looking down at a very meek, vulnerable, and excited Freddie. But before Freddie can tug at the mess of curls down to his face, Brian lays down next to him. 

 

Freddie looks at him completely perplexed. 

 

“I've got work tomorrow, Fred.” 

 

Freddie whines like before. “Please, Bri. It'll be quick.”

 

“Sorry. I just don't want our first time to be with the both of us intoxicated.”

 

He knew he couldn't convince Brian after that sorry and sighed in frustration, hearing a small last 'sorry’ from Brian as he gets out of bed. He doesn't even try to hide the tent in his briefs as he makes his way to the bathroom, almost as if saying  _ ‘look at what you're missing out on’ _ . 

 

But Brian simply lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling, thinking. 

 

Freddie closed the door behind him and eyes himself in the mirror. What a mess he was. His hair was all over the place and the red on his face could be seen from a mile away. 

 

He looks down, pulling at the elastic waistband of his boxers.

 

_ Just another night in the bathroom. _

 


	3. Turn Back The Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going back in time

**_February 13th_ **

 

_ ‘ _ **_Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ but I'll be all by myself for Valentine's..’ _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ don't say that. You have me,, It's the day of love and friendship. If you'd like we can try video chatting again??’ _

 

**_‘Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ Oh, I’d love to! Only if you're ok with it,,and the connection's well this time..’ _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ I'm the one who proposed the idea, so i am ok with it, though I don't know about the WiFi.. How's tomorrow at 6 pm?’ _

 

**_'Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ Oh that's wonderful! Now if you don't mind, I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow, darling. And I want to surprise you as well, so let me sleep to prep up’ _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ Oh? Surprise? Well, goodnight, Freddie ❤️rest well’ _

 

**_'Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ Goodnight, my love ❤️’ _

  
  


_ \------------------------------ _

  
  


**_February 14th_ **

 

**_‘Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ good morning! I look forward to today! A lot!’ _

 

**_‘Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ I see you're as excited as I am’ _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ I'm more than excited, Fred. I finally get to do it without my mother nosing around! She'll be going out tonight with some guy and I get to spend the night with you’ _

 

**_‘Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ I'm sorry, Deaks. But I am going on a date with a woman tonight, and she said she has a red haired son who is staying at home on Valentine's all by himself. Anyway, I can't wait to be a stepfather 💞💞’  _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ very funny, Freckle’ _

 

**_'Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ is that any way to speak to your daddy?’ _

 

**_'Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ don't ever say that again. But both of us know that I would be the daddy in this relationship’ _

 

**_'Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ Ah I see you're living up to your name now’ _

 

**_‘Freaky.Deaky:_ ** _ ok I'm blocking you.’ _

 

**_'Ready.Freddie:_ ** _ NO’ _

  
  
  


_ \---------------------------------- _

  
  
  


_ The chat went as Freddie had expected. Although his network did interfere a couple of times throughout the chat, it all ran rather smoothly. They talked as if they were lifelong friends and showed off their belongings to each other. John's most valuable possession was his bass guitar. Of course it was. _

 

_ He played a few riffs before encouraging Freddie to play something on his keyboard. Freddie eventually gave in after receiving puppy eyes from the younger man.  _

 

_ He slid the instrument from under his bed, plugging it into the wall socket and flicking a few switches on and off, testing it. _

 

_ “Actually, this is the surprise I had for you.” he said as he took a worn notebook from under his pillow and opened it to a page full of verses and scribbles. _

 

_ He heard a small 'oh?’ before he settled his fingers on the keys, clearing his throat nervously and trying to relax a bit. _

 

_ “I can dim the lights and sing you songs,  _

_ Full of sad things _

_ We can do the tango just for two” _

 

_ His voice came out harsh, but softened as he continued. _

 

_ “I can serenade and gently play _

_ On your heartstrings _

_ Be a Valentino just for you” _

 

_ He sheepishly took a glance at his friend, hearing a small laugh from John in return.  _

 

_ “What do you think?” Freddie's voice was shaking from how nervous he was. _

 

_ “Gayer?”  _

 

_ “Not me, darling! The song.” Freddie snorts and turns the keyboard off, John's sweet laughter dripping sweetly into his ears once more. _

 

_ “I think it was amazing, Freddie. I love it. I really do. Especially the heartstring part. I love that.” John shyly grins and buries his head in a pile of pillows, laughing.  _

 

_ “John.” Said man perks his head back up, the smile still on his face. _

 

_ “I love you, darling.”  _

 

_ The bassist lets out a sigh and tilts his head to the side.  _

 

_ “I love you too, Freddie.”  _

 

_ They both sit there for a while, chuckling and getting in a more comfortable position. Freddie lay on his side, the phone's screen softly illuminating his face with a blue tint. They don't say anything for a moment, soaking in each other's presence and smiling.  _

 

_ John's eyelids drooped and Freddie yawned.  _

 

_ “Well, I can see we've both had very long days.” Freddie started. “Goodnight, my love.”  _

 

_ The singer goes to end the chat. “Wait, Fred!” _

 

_ He halts, confused. _

 

_ “Can we, maybe, sleep together? You know, keep our phones on for the night..?” His voice is almost inaudible and he's hiding his face with his hand. Absolutely adorable. _

 

_ “Of course, Deaky. Anything for you.” Freddie sets the phone so they're looking at one another, once more taking each other's energy in and gazing lovingly over their faces.  _

 

_ “Goodnight, Freddie. I love you.”  _

 

_ “Goodnight, dear.  _

 

_ I love you too.” _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! It's been 6 months!! Don't even know if people are going to continue reading this,,

The warm morning light pushes its way through the blinds and sets onto Freddie's resting figure. Everything is still and quiet, almost as if time had stopped that very second. Brian watches as the other man's chest rises and falls, nearly entranced by it as he couldn't take his eyes off Freddie. His hair was lightly sprawled out onto the plump pillow beneath him, and a hand goes to go tuck a strand behind his ear. _How absolutely beautiful you are_ , Brian thought, stroking his cheek and moving more strands away from his perfect face. A smile slowly forms as the younger man stirs in his sleep.

 

A pair of sleepy eyes are looking back at him, and they squint when Freddie returns Brian's smile with one of his own.

 

“Good morning, darling.” Freddie murmurs with his face buried into the cool pillow.

 

“I'm positive you slept well?” 

 

Freddie hums in response and feels the bed dip as Brian rolls off. “Now, I need to get ready for work. Would you like to grab some tea before my shift?”

 

“Are you asking me on a date?” He asks into the pillow, head too heavy to lift up. 

 

Brian pulls on the shirt he wore the night before, making a mental note to bring extra _clean_ clothes next time. “Why wouldn't I take my boyfriend on a date?” 

 

His heart skips a beat, and he can't help but sigh in dismay. 

 

_I should tell him_.

 

The taller man is puffing up his hair in front of a mirror and before Freddie can say anything, Brian cuts him off without even knowing. 

 

“I've never dated a bloke, and it feels almost more natural than with birds."

 

The Persian boy shuts his mouth and props himself up on his elbows, listening intently.

 

“Gosh, and when I kissed you, my. I felt like I was seeing stars.” He turns to face Freddie with a huge smile plastered on his face.

 

“So we really are dating.”

 

It comes out as more of a statement rather than a question, making the guitarist give Freddie a questioning look.

 

“If that's what you want?”

 

Silence follows.

 

“Brian.”

 

Freddie sits up and throws his legs over the bed, making his way towards Brian while keeping intense eye contact.

 

“Of course it's what I want.” He says, wrapping his arms around his hips to pull him closer. 

 

A small kiss is planted on Freddie's lips and he can't help but return it. 

 

“Then get dressed, Fred. Let's go for some tea.” Brian gives the him another kiss before pulling away to look for his shoes. Freddie rubs his arm and goes through the clothes scattered on the floor, picking up a jacket that had golden floral designs on them. He picks out a simple pair of black slacks to go with it and begins to dress. 

 

It's quiet, expect for the shuffling of clothes and footsteps as they grab their things and leave the flat. Freddie pats his pockets and finds his most valuable belonging missing.

 

“Ah, shit. I left my phone. Wait in the lobby, will you dear?” 

 

Brian nods and makes his way down the hall, taking one last look behind him before disappearing into the lift.

 

After a few attempts, he unlocks the door and pockets his jangling keys, throwing the sheets around in hopes of finding his cellphone.

 

He hears a familiar _thud_ and sees the phone at his feet, sighing in relief. He clicks it on to check on the time, but a series of messages catch his eye. 

 

All from John.

 

Naturally, he would open them as quickly as he could, but he didn't want to talk to John now. Emotions from the previous night came flooding back and Freddie deletes the notifications, not giving them a second thought. 

 

He locks the door behind him once more and follows Brian's path downstairs. 

  
  


\---------------------------------

 

“Is that so? Did she ever give them back?” 

 

“Oh don't be ridiculous, darling. Those were _vintage_ , of course she didn't.”

 

Their laughter fills the café, giving life to it as it was a rather lonely and quiet day. Freddie watches the steam rise from his teacup, tickling at his nose as he brings it up to take another cautious sip. 

 

“This is the best tea I've had in awhile.” Freddie admits. He's on his second cup and feels like going for a third, but Brian pulls a hasty face and abruptly stands.

 

“Oh Christ, I got 5 minutes left! Steve's gonna kill me!” 

 

He's frantic and gone after planting a sweet, quick kiss on Freddie's cheek, making the latter's heart melt and twist in agony at the same time. 

 

Freddie slams a 20 dollar tip on the table and walks out of the lovely little cafe. It was a bright, sunny day and for once, the noise of cars passing by with casual conversations here and there don't annoy Freddie. It's a good day, but he doesn't know why. The thought ponders in his head as he untangles the mess his earphones are and pops them on, shuffling a few songs before settling on The Beatles. 

 

He loved The Beatles. A lot. He even forced Brian to do a few covers at gigs they had and we're given praise for it. They inspired Freddie quite a bit, he would even ponder on what it would be like to see them perform live.

 

His thought dissipates and his mind immediately falls onto John.

 

He checks his phone

**10:24 am**

 

More messages from a very worried John, but he ignores them and clears them from the screen. He's left staring at his lockscreen as _If I Fell_ begins to play. 

  


_If I fell in love with you_

_Would you promise to be true?_

_And help me understand?_

 

He tucks his phone in his pocket and begins his path back to his beloved apartment.

  


_Cause I've been in love before_

_And I found that love was more_

_Than just_

_Holding hands_

 

He's always associated John with this song and he can't help but think about him everytime this song played. He hated it.

 

He shakes his head as to shake the thoughts out  and continues his way back to the apartment. 

  


\----------

  


It was later that night that Brian dropped by to drop off dinner. Chinese take out, a favorite of his. 

 

They settled into the small dining table and began feasting, talking about Brian's rough day at work. Apparently, you can't talk back to customers. Brian almost got fired on the spot if it weren't for his remarkable hosting skills. Maybe he would've had the world record for getting fired on his first week. Freddie laughs.

 

"So what'd you do? Did you write anything new?" Brian curiously asks with a mouth full of noodles.

 

"As a matter of fact, I did!" 

 

He stands from his seat and fetches his notebook. It was old and falling apart, but it held many emotional words that kept the Persian from throwing it out. 

 

He flipped through the pages hurriedly and set it down on the table.

 

Brian smiled at him and read at the scribbles and crossed out words. It even had small drawings at the side. Brian assumed one figure was him due to the stickman's nest of a hair. He reread the lines a few times before throwing Freddie another smile.

 

"It's beautiful, love. Is it about.. me?"

 

"Oh yes, it was from before you even knew I...um, I liked you."

 

In reality, it was about John. But Freddie wanted to forget about him right now, to focus on someone who _truly_ loved him.

 

"I absolutely love it, Freddie, dear."

 

His words make Freddie melt and for once, he doesn't feel anything other than butterflies.

 

"That means a lot, Bri."

 

They exchange soft smiles before Freddie takes his notebook back and tosses it to the side. They enjoy the comfortable silence as they finish up their meals for the night, Brian dismissing himself after saying their goodnights and leaving a quick kiss on Fred's cheek.

 

It makes his heart sore.

 

It made it sore so much that he was sighing and clutching his chest.

  


 

Maybe he did like Brian after all?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this isn't good at all now that I'm looking back at it :).


End file.
